It didn’t matter to me, as I never wanted to have children of my own. However, it made complete sense that she felt like telling me that as if it we...e devastating news because that’s what it was for her. On top of everything she went through with her parents, with her lover, with her “friend”... She also discovered at the start of her life that she probably wouldn’t be able to be a normal woman. Hence the depression, the self-loathing, the way she subconsciously wanted to suffer. She was. .. what were they called ... massage tools but they didn't have a brand that was quiet enough to use in the dormitory of a religious institution that frowned on such self-pleasuring.No, her fingers would have to be enough ... but god, some nights and some mornings while she stood in the shower, leaning against the walls with her legs splayed as she touched herself ... she knew she needed much more. Her fantasies had darkened where she saw herself in a chamber held fast against a stone wall,. More

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