I didn't have any girl clothes though, even if I did want to change, and it felt like a betrayal anyway. Everybody always said "Be true to yourself" a...d then they were saying "Be what people expect" and now ... Well, I guess I was just mad at the world, you know?So I changed quickly, wearing old jeans with holes in the knees, my old heavy work boots, and a dungaree shirt that had belonged to at least three of my brothers before me and looked like it. I pulled my Mariners cap backwards over my. I just wanted to er meet you er again." Me or Me?" You giggle."You." He winks.The flash happens, the drop of shoulders, the exposure of doubt.Looking down and then slowly raising your eyes to his you say, "I don'tknow, I've never, well not never, but for a very longtime doneanything, anything like this and now I'm here and I'm scarred, mycolleagues are staying here, they don't know anything about me, and I'min the lift with you and we're talking about meeting or something andmost of me says no. More

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