"Unless he's ten inches." She laughed. "Then you just put a bag over his head and slap him silly for being so ugly." Mom!" I laughed too and sometimes...it was hard to tell when she was serious."Well..." She shrugged and her blue eyes were twinkling happily."Was my father handsome?" I wondered. "Or did he just have a really big penis?" Hmmm..." Mom thought about that for a second. "That's a good question, Jen. I'm not sure. I got pregnant with you on my fourteenth birthday." You did?" I looked at. Nobody wants to look at fake cleavageproduced by a breast form."I guess at that point I lost it and I broke out in tears and startedsobbing. Mom was trying to comfort me and Maury is rolling his eyes andlooking at me with this expression on his face that says, "Damnemotional bitches." Eventually Mom got me quieted down and she and Maurytalked for a couple of minutes and then we got up to leave. That waswhen Maury said, "You know, I'm not sure whether I should mention thisor not, and I suspect. More

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