I turned, gazing up lovingly into his handsome face."Can I call you tomorrow?" he asked with a tender tone in his voice. "Maybe we can do something to...ether or get dinner."Relieved to have him ask me out again on the spot, there was no doubt what my answer would be. I wanted to jump up and down and scream yes yes yes.Instead of flipping out like a love struck buffoon I replied, "That sounds great! Maybe we could stay in and I could make us dinner."In offering to prepare a meal for this man I. "Hello," he said, "it's Little Dicky Desmond." He turned to Miss Pouty. "This bloke's dick is so small he can only fuck ants." She gave a titter of nervous laughter."At least I don't use it to bugger little boys, or turd burgle babies, you nonce." My reply was a direct hit. His face went a furious scarlet and his eyes bulged with rage. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you bastard," he bellowed.He grabbed a bottle off the table with his right hand — oh bollocks, was he ambidextrous? — then came. More

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