Dream about him next to me. Feel him in the night tending them. Believe that he’s there. Then there’s light and the shower is still running. I lea...e it on even though the water bill is too high to pay. I like the sound of the water rushing over me. Let the water pour. Clean and hot and desensitizing, destroying prints and calluses, burning away bacteria, boiling needles to the surface of my skin. Mindless, hopeless activity. I sit in the shower without forgiven and need and lust and longing.. “Ever do anything with her?” I asked.She whirled around and looked me in the eye. “As a matter of fact,” she said, smirking. “Yvonne was married for a few months,” she explained, “and after it ended she decided she liked women. It was a little more involved than that, of course. To this day I don’t know if her marriage ended because she decided she was gay or if she decided she was gay because her marriage didn’t work out.”She grabbed my hands and we sat down together on my couch. “I don’t know. More

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