Yes, I know it was crazy, but at worst, it would only cost me £50, at best... well.I bought one of those cheap 'pay as you go' mobile phones.I was go...ng to anonymously text mum and see if I could have some fun. I sat down with my new phone, just fresh out of the wrapper, new SIM card inserted, and placed it on the charger. What would be my first text to her... "R U single?"I waited for a reply - what had I done? Texting mum in this way was crazy, if she found out, I was in real trouble... Maybe. I was, once more, the startled rabbit caught in theheadlights and although I made an initial attempt to stop her, she had bythen done most my back and chest by that time. At that point I rememberthinking, "Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. How will this foulsmelling cream make me look more feminine anyway?" and I let her rub therest of this stuff over the remainder of my chest and back and arms andlegs. I even told her she had missed a bit.Then I stood there covered in this smelly. More

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