He even felt lifeless. His skin wasn't alive. Not quite a mannequin, but similar.Sam had washed his hair. It felt smooth and silky. But it wasn't the ...air I'd run my fingers through and grabbed when he'd made me come.I stood and put the chair back under his desk. I went back to the bed and kissed him on the cheek."Goodbye, my love. Wherever you are."I walked out of the room and turned off the light. I felt a loss but there was also a little relief mixed in with it.Mom's door was open. I looked. I had been depressed for most of my eighteen years, even suicidal, completely in contrast to the comfortable middle-class life I lived in my hometown in Maine. I couldn’t even count the number of antidepressants, forced therapy lessons, and thoughts of longing to just die. There are people starving all over the world, people suffering. It’s a mystery to people like me why they just don’t kill themselves. It is the only question I will leave behind. How do they have lives that make my horrors. More

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