Even others involved in this lifestyle have tried to explain to me that what I am longing for can be all right as fantasies but warns me not to go too...far. At the same time, pain is for me a source of ecstatic pleasure that I could not get in any other way. Surely there are many nutcases around in the world and I am sure that you are only wishing me well by trying to warn me against living out my fantasies. But once you have finally found Him, where everything falls into place... when I have. I showered, dressed, and returned home.As I climbed the steps in front of my house, I saw that a young, pretty woman with a huge smile on her face stood waiting for me at the top. Thinking that she might be one of my tenants, I returned her smile. As I reached the top step she threw her arms around me and gave me a passionate kiss. She stepped back and said, "Darling, welcome home. How was your trip? Was it too awful having to travel with that old man from your office?"I was surprised, to say. More

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