I felt different and uncomfortable looking at girls in underwear or swimwear. When I went on a vacation with my family and saw my mom in a swimsuit I ...anted to hug her so much, to bury my face in her and squeeze her, I could not explain why and I made me really frustrated at myself, the shame in my thoughts also shaped the person I am today. An added routine started during my time alone at home. I would boot up the ancient computer and search for: women stripping, naked women etc. After viewing. .. she was real, she was completely real. This wasn’t a hallucination.My initial shock was replaced by fear, realizing as if for the first time that she was covered in blood. I reached out and pressed my fingers against Angel’s neck, checking her pulse and finding a strong and steady heartbeat. Moving as quickly as my chemically-shocked body would allow, I dashed out of my room and over to the bathroom, grabbing all the towels I could and coming back. Climbing back onto the bed, I rubbed her. More

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