Then I want to move in with them.-Phyllis DillerMost children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents ...oing.-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his. She nearly laughed in his face. Come to think ofit, maybe she had. You needed to Ph.D. to figure this out? You needed anM.D.? Her last boyfriend had told her that and he didn?t even have aG.E.D.She had a problem with intimacy? Why was this a surprise, it went alongwith her problem with authority, her problem with food, her problem withsobriety, her problem with people who clubbed baby seals to death so theycould wear them as fur coats, and a whole bunch of other miscellaneousproblems far too. More

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