" "I can't wait to meet Jodi's roommate," Jill says excitedly, "If she has a lot in common with me I'd like to talk to her."I'd like to do more than t...lk I think to myself, and visions of my dream return. We set into cooking. I start the grill for the shrimp and scallops, you start on the pasta salad, and Jill puts some water on to boil the corn. When the food is done, I look at the clock."Good grief!" I exclaim, "It's five-thirty. Our guests will be here in half an hour." We'd better throw. I have become addicted to that feeling of absolute power over men. The quicker I could make them cum, the more powerful I felt. This was my ultimate addiction. I 'lived' to be 'the best you'll ever have.' It didn't matter that most of the time they didn't come close to showing me that same kind of pleasure. I have never allowed myself to ever fully lose control in the bedroom and enjoy the pleasures of sex. I am so busy performing and being the perfect 'Pornstar' that I never really enjoyed. More

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