- Victor BorgeBe careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark TwainBy all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become ...appy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.- SocratesI was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.- Groucho MarxMy wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.- Jimmy DuranteI have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.- Zsa Zsa GaborOnly Irish coffee provides in a. " "You know, if we weren't such good friends, I would pay you good moneyto let me suck it for you." "How much?" I laughed. "It's priceless," she sighed. "I'll have it bronzed," I quipped. "Oh, no! It wouldn't be the same. It's not only the hardness, it'sthe texture, the color, the feel...." "Still, it's only a cock. There are millions of others like it." "Mmm. But this one is my cock!" She grasped the middle of the shaftin the palm of her right hand and squeezed. More

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