I walked a little further, my heart was fluttering,now I was closer to the hotel reception than I was to my bedroom, I was onmy way, no turning back n...w. I walked into the main reception area &nervously looked around. To my enormous delight the lady behind thecounter looked up from her computer & gave me a brief smile beforereturning to her work. Wow, I was actually passing as Laura. I walkedtowards the exit whilst trying to keep my composure, trying to take shortsteps & trying to keep my feet. Fair enough, but they should not make a mistake, to me, I ceased living when my Darling died, now I'm simply surviving.Daniel (Danny), Dan, Hey-You, one of my fifteen-year-olds, said it best, although his sister Betsy, Beth, Guts-ache (Elizabeth) made half of the statement: I was a dead man walking. I no longer wanted to live. They had to come up with a damned good reason for me to keep living, as just having four kids was not enough of a reason. They all knew how much, their mother and I loved. More

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