. Sign in Psychiatrist's waiting room: You don't need to be insane to see me, but it does help.Sign in the local Optometrist's window: If you can read...this sign we don't need to make an appointment.What is the difference between a cop car and a pineapple?On a pineapple the pricks are on the outside.Mummy, mummy, where is daddy?Shut up and keep filling in the hole.This one is compliments of DennisMURPHY'S LAWS OF COMBATYou are not a supermanIf it's stupid, but works, it's not stupid.Don't look. “Social Security?” Nick asked, as if it were a foreign concept.“Yes, you’ve been paying into it every year when you pay your taxes. Haven’t you filed for it?” Jill asked.“No, didn’t know we was eligible,” Nick told her.“Who does your taxes?” she asked.“Fellow in town has done them for years, and his pa before him. They never mentioned it, just told me how much I needed to pay,” Nick told us.“You need to check on this, Nick. If they give you any trouble, let me know, and I’ll have a talk with. More

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