"I'm on the corner," he says. "Where are you?" I'm at home," my wife replies."What?!? I told you to wait!" I did wait! I waited for twenty minutes! Yo... didn't show up! So, I went home." Look, bitch!" he roars into the phone, "When I tell you to wait for me, you goddamn WAIT!!"Nobody calls my wife a bitch. Big mistake.I won't go into the verbatim of the ass-chewing this doctor received. Suffice to say, my wife read him the Riot Act for five solid minutes. She concluded with, "And if you EVER. The girl was smart and knew exactly how to get what she wanted. We were similar that way. Because what I wanted was her between my sheets and it seemed like I was well on the way to making that happen. ‘Siri, call Emily’ I said to the phone laying on my dashboard. It rang once before she picked it up. ‘You were supposed to be home ten minutes ago’ she said. ‘You better have a good reason for being late.’ ‘I have the best reason’ I said with a shit-eating grin on my face I wish she could have. More

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