-Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.-Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a...more-talented fool.-I’ll bet you $4,567 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.-Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.-Ever stop to think and forget to start again?-My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver’s test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her. After an hour or so, he flashes his lights and we pull over. He asks if I can drive the rest of the way as he'd like to get some shut eye. I get into his truck and we take off. He says slow down a bit and let your uncle get some distance from us. When we are separated by half a mile, he asks me if I can keep a secret? I say hell yes. Whereupon, he slides down on the seat and gets below the dash sonobody can see him. Then he leans over the transmission hump and starts undoing my belt. Soon he. More

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