Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) an... the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.*P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.*P: Something. **The elevator doors opened and the worn secretary stepped gingerly intothe hall. These heels would be death of him.As Justin approached his apartment door, he heard a sound from behind.His overweight neighbor Moe was taking the trash to the incinerator.Justin froze as the man noticed him."Evening, babe." Moe cracked a greasy smile.Justin gave what he hoped was a convincing, feminine wave, before he wasable to get the key in the door. He had just enough time to see whatlooked like a dawning. More

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