He wants us to double date some time but I tried to tell him my mom would have a kitten if I told her I was going out on a date. But there was this on... girl ... Anyway, after hours and hours of boring stuff, school is over and Eddie and I walk home. I have my cell in my hand and I'm looking at it, willing it to ring. It makes a sound like little bells ringing so I'll know it's mine. Eddie watches me and looks disgusted."Come on, Rube! He'll call when he's ready. He's a con and he's gotta get. Nothing. Then after what seemed like an eternity of ‘nothingness’ and my ‘hellos’, there was something. It wasn’t exactly my wife breathlessly telling me how much she loved and missed me, but more like kissing off in the distance. Then her heavy breathing and an, “Ohh,” followed by, “Mmm, Gawd…” then something totally unintelligible before I heard actual words, “Oh shit, bite it, Samuel, harder!”I think you know as well as I did what was happening. But what I didn’t know was, was she just. More

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