When her eyes landed on mine, her smile dropped."Oh."One word, just a simple 'Oh' but it was more than enough to crush my confidence. I had never felt...so unwanted.Having all these thoughts at once was starting to make me depressed, and I had felt down enough as it was. It was getting late, but I knew sleep would avoid me; my mind was far too active. Time for a little five-finger sleeping aid.As I'd been single for my entire life, I watched my fair share of porn, but since I had started college. A strict set of standards that have become sacred and imperative in order to maintain my self-imposed "lessons." Each partner must have the physical power to bring about the most pain, and have enough tolerance and virility to maintain long periods of terrifying foreplay before finally sating their own urges.I am not sure how or when I became a slave to sexual pain, but it's now more a drug for me than anything else. It brings about a high, as well as serving a much greater purpose to me. Each. More

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