I don't approve of political jokes, I've seen too many of them get elected.10. There are two sides to every divorce, his and the shithead bitch's - op...s I mean witch's.11. I love being married, it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.12. I am a nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect.13. Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.14. How come we choose from just two people to run for. Your chest is smooth, your shoulders strong, my palms travel over them. I pause over your heart, feeling it beat beneath my hand. Up, over, then down your arms, gliding across muscles and skin, back to your hands where our fingers intertwine. My slender, feminine hands laced in your strong, masculine ones. ‘The best thing ’bout tonight’s that we’re not fighting,’ Secondhand Serenade’s words fill the air. I lay my head on your shoulder and inhale your scent. Your hands release mine. Strong arms. More

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