”To my horror, she placed her hand very deliberately on mine and smiled. The smile felt, to me, like that of a shark spying a surfer’s foot. I am ...ure I shuddered. “I haven’t changed entirely, darling,” horrifying squeeze of my hand, “George and I,” here she paused for dramatic effect, “swing.” How I did not piss myself laughing I have no idea. Prissy Portia Parsons swinging! As likely as the Queen getting her tits out for the trooping of the colour. “You must come for supper one evening. We. In retrospect, it was my very first tribute, but I was not exactly sure what had happened and completely unprepared for the meager mess I made. Over the next few days--once I found a technique that worked for me--I was completely hooked on beating off. Tissue boxes around my house emptied quicker than ever.I did not have many opportunities to explore my sexuality and my general shyness and social ineptitude ensured that I did not capitalize on my few early chances. Sad but true, I did not. More

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