I had to be there for him. I was his friend. I had to encourage him to go for it, knowing it was what he should do. But inside, a piece of me was bre...king apart. Any hope that I had was going to be gone soon. She would get what I’d secretly wanted to share with him. The special moment that I had not been able to have in my own life, with my first time being beyond horrendous, was going to be taken from his by someone else. I knew she’d fall for him and chances are he would fall for her. He. With my black hair barely covering my ears, hazel eyes, and pale white skin I never really thought of myself as more than cute. I had no interest in trying to attracted anyone so I dressed modestly, not that my body didn't still stand out. Regardless I had no interest in dating as I had never really found guys attractive. I will admit I was masturbating almost nightly at the time, but instead of a specific person I focused on how it made me feel. This was just the way I was, nothing strange. More

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