At the same time as feeling totally at her command, I was already aware, that she was only doing what I had been yearning for, and fantasising about, ...or nearly a year. Yes, she was using me to get what she wanted (as Joan had warned me), but was I not using Jan's attraction to my physicality, to get from her, what I wanted?Over dinner, June quizzed me relentlessly about my attitude to a wide variety of potential sexual activities and fetishes. She began with the night she had watched me. Melanie clearly didn’t.“Melanie, Pete’s here.”“No! I don’t want to see him. I can’t!”“Why not? As soon as I told him what had happened, he said he’d come home. No hesitation. No thinking about it. He came to see you.”“He hates me for what I did! You hate me for what I did! I hate me for what I did!” she sobbed.And that was the crux of the matter. She hated herself. As far as I could tell, neither Pete nor I hated her. We might be upset with her, but we both loved her. And that was why her. More

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