"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make ... face while doing it."Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You have to take care of that problem."The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts. Both Kate and I agreed that the fry-up was an excellent idea, with my daughter sarcastically saying that it was about time I had one. After doing the dishes and a few other neglected chores I sat down with a nice brew and checked my ticket. As soon as I saw the numbers on the National Lottery website I knew I had won. I have used and checked the same numbers every week since the lottery began, so I knew them by heart. Of course I checked the ticket a few times to ensure that I hadn't. More

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