Our tongues can unfurl to the length and girth of an Earth python." Now it was Ripley and I who begged for citizenship."While I take your rocket to Ea...th to enslave your males, we will keep you safe and comfortable. Princess Labia, show our guests to the hot springs for the complimentary three-hour deep-tissue massage and cucumber riding rodeo. But first, can you provide directions to your Home Depot? We need a tool to poke through the thick mine walls." "Oh mighty Queen, you hop these fools. When you add this to the fact that I am in serious contention for the laziest person in the world it becomes obvious that shaving is an activity that holds little fascination for me. Besides the beard hides my double chin and keeps small children from running off screaming.But all things change. When I discovered Tri-Ess and as I got to know others with the same peculiar hobby a tiny devil began to rattle his pitchfork between my ears. I mean, just what did I look like under all that hair? As I. More

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