" Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?" Well, Brenda, no; in fact, he got out three times to pee."Mary Clanc... goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" That he did, Father."The priest says, "What. ‘And to make it easier for you to distinguish between your best friend Anne and your mistress, you’ll address me as ‘Mistress Summers’ when we’re alone or when I tell you to.’ ‘Okay,’ I said, and immediately realized my mistake when Anne’s hand shot down and pinched my nipple painfully. ‘I’m sorry, Mistress Summers.’ The pain faded as soon as I had finished my sentence. ‘Good. You’re a fast learner, though nobody who knows you would have doubted that. I need to use the loo myself and then I’ll. More

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