We sat either side of her and enjoyed a most amusing conversation during which the Lady revealed a most irreverent and diverting sense of wit. She spo...e of well-known figures of society such as the Lady Granchester who had farted in the Queen’s presence. ‘It was a fart of some magnitude, my dears,’ she said, ‘such as might have taken Lord Nelson himself all the way to France!’ And of Lady Constance Tolmore who, ‘should more appropriately be called Lady Incontinence since she pissed as she. ‘Valentine’s Day? No, there’s no way. What were you thinking?’ Confused, all she could muster was, ‘I don’t understand, what’s the problem?’ ‘The problem is my wife already has plans for that night.’ ‘Your wife, what’s she got to do with it? I thought you and her were through.’ ‘I never said that.’ ‘That first night, you said you’d gone your own ways,’ there was a lost tone in her voice. ‘Well yeah, I was there and she was somewhere else. Don’t go making more out of it than that. I never. More

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