’ I smile at her and apologize again. She looks at me and says ‘ Stop apologizing, just talk to me, act like you know I am here. It is like you ar... some where else in your mind. ‘ I start telling her about my day and how stressful it was. Then she says ‘Oh, so I am just a lot of trouble and you would rather be working, that is just perfect.’ I protest ‘ You are putting words in my mouth, I never said that. it is like you are looking for fight with me.’ She then does the unthinkable and I turn. I was becoming accustomed to the coupling of sexual pleasure with the inflicting of pain, even though it was not I who was doing the inflicting. It was exciting me more and more nevertheless. I remember thinking that one day not so very far away I would have to return to my former life as an accountant, going home every evening to a lonely apartment to eat a TV dinner in front of the tube. How would I manage to find and keep a girlfriend if secretly my earnest desire was to see her tied to a. More

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