The doors closed, we started to ascend and then, without warning, we ground to a halt just before the third floor. “Fucking typical!” she shouted,...“I only ever come here when the lift is broken and today I’m in it.”She explained that she was visiting her sister but that she jogged over once a week from a smarter part of Town. Meanwhile I was pressing buttons and trying, as you do, to stimulate the lift back into action. As Sod’s Law states in situations like this: Nothing happens. Upon pressing. In addition it will also be assumed that the wearer will enjoy at least one orgasms a day over that period resulting in 6 cane strokes per day (ie. for 2 weeks the wearer will accrue 84 strokes. Strokes will be rounded upwards to the next ‘10’ figure so 84 becomes 90). Strokes accrued in this manner will be applied in batches of 25 over consecutive weekends (ie. 25 weekend 1, another 25 weekend 2, a further 25 weekend 3 and the final 15 on weekend 4). This will be additional to any other cane. More

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