I shoulda stepped it that first day. I just ... fuck," he said angrily. "Defending you woulda done exactly what you said it would." Telling them I'm g...y." Are you gay?" he asked angrily. "I mean, it's OK if you are. I just ... I just don't want to embarrass you by asking."I sat looking at him, considering the question. I was not gay. My interest in guys was almost zero. My obsession was David, not guys. I longed to be his girlfriend. Unfortunately."What did you want to ask me when you woke me. I couldn’t go back: it would eat up so much time and energy that I’d probably come in last and at a walk. I decided my least worst option was to finish as well as I could then wonder about what might have been.The last stretch back up to the school was a steep incline, in as poor a shape as the previous decline. Despite knowing it was suicidal, I kept running at my fast pace. I was conscious of passing several runners, some of whom had been reduced to walking. The lung-bursting pain came back. More

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