She seemed happy and chirpy, and actedtowards me in a perfectly normal mother-son manner. It struck me immediately what a gorgeous woman she was whenv...ewed objectively. She did ask me that evening if I was feeling O.K.-possibly something in my manner alerted her – but I told her about myillness at school, and this seemed an acceptable explanation. That night in bed I lay awake for ages wrestling with myfeelings and eventually had to masturbate again before I could sleep. Over the days and. I even went so far as to make sure I looked all clumsy and frumpy so no guys, or even girls, would think of me as a possible girlfriend. Your stupid attempt to discover electricity the same way as Ben Franklin made me realized you could never wake up and I had lost my chance. I came by a lot over the summer trying to get you to wake up, but you never did. Finally, it hit me that I wasn’t going to get that kiss from you. Mom almost fell out of her chair when I came home from visiting you to ask. More

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